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What do you expect when you enter into a negotiation? Do you expect to win, lose, or settle? One thing...
The post The Killer Formula to Winning in Every Negotiation appeared first on Lifehack.
What do you expect when you enter into a negotiation? Do you expect to win, lose, or settle? One thing...
The post The Killer Formula to Winning in Every Negotiation appeared first on Lifehack.
What do you expect when you enter into a negotiation? Do you expect to win, lose, or settle? One thing you can expect is to expect the unexpected. Many of us think we enter a negotiation thinking we must settle, but what if you knew a strategy to increase the likelihood of winning every time?
Think of this in the form of an analogy. If your emotions were the buttons on a remote control, would you give the remote to the person you are negotiating with? If the person does possess the remote control, then you better know the buttons. [1]
Let’s take a look at the strategy to win in every negotiation and how you can use it.
What tactics would Aristotle have used during a negotiation? Well, he actually told us what he would use. They are The Modes of Persuasion: Aristotle referred to his ethical strategy as Ethos + Pathos + Logos (Appeal to Authority + Appeal to Emotion + Appeal to Logic). Similarly, Maria Ploumaki informs us that the elements to the art of negotiation include: Emotion + Logic + Repetition. She says that cold facts and evidence alone will not be as appealing as presenting your ideas within a emotional appeal. [2]
Ploumaki sees negotiation as a combination lock, where we have 3 rotating dials (Emotion + Logic + Repetition). By understanding these elements, we will have a better chance of remaining calm when we find ourselves in a defensive position. She compared this to someone pushing us from the side as we are walking toward a destination. When this happens, we are typically forced off our destination. What we should do is immediately stop, stay calm, and reposition ourselves toward the original target.
Let’s look at each of the elements in details:
Chris Voss is a former negotiator for the FBI and author of the book Never Split the Difference. Voss developed his negotiating skills in tense situations, situations where lives were literally on the line. Where most people liken negotiating to keeping a poker face, Voss uses a different approach and strives to influence people’s emotions. In his view, emotions are not obstacles, they are the means to a successful negotiation. Here are 5 techniques he uses to win every negotiation and get what he wants. [3]
Logic alone will not work. It’s not just the facts, perception changes the way we see things. I am reminded of a quote from Albert Einstein
“Not everything that can be counted counts; not everything that counts can be counted.”
Let’s take a look at 4 actionable steps in order to get what we want during a negotiation. [4]
People are eventually persuaded if something happens often enough. This is the repetition principle and it works. Our brains are awesome pattern-matchers and repetition creates a pattern.[5] Let’s take a look at how Ploumaki uses repetition.
Stanford Professor Margaret Neale provides a way to win in any negotiation through accessing the situation. She informs us that the goal of negotiation is not to get a deal, but to get a good deal. We must know what separates a good deal from a bad deal. To do this, we need 3 pieces of information. [7]
If you remember anything from this formula, always remember the importance our emotion plays in any negotiation.
“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
Lastly, think of your negotiation as a deck of cards and ask yourself one simple question… Who holds the high card?
Featured photo credit: Flaticon via flaticon.com
[1] | ^ | TED x Talks: The art of negotiation TEDx Talks |
[2] | ^ | Maria Ploumaki: The art of negotiation TEDx Talks |
[3] | ^ | Time.com: 5 tactics to win a negotiation, according to an FBI agent |
[4] | ^ | Margaret Neale: Negotiating getting what you want |
[5] | ^ | Changingminds.org: Repetition principle |
[6] | ^ | Harvard Business Review: 15 rules for negotiating a job offer |
[7] | ^ | Margaret Neale: Negotiating getting what you want |
The post The Killer Formula to Winning in Every Negotiation appeared first on Lifehack.